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Imagine this: you have a child getting married and you have to give that child and their fiance just TWO PIECES of ADVICE before they wed.
What would it be? And how would you pick your advice? Would it be from advice you once received? Or would it be hard-earned from your own life? Would it be about faith? Family? Sacrifice? Sex? Commitment? What do you think is VITAL in the marital relationship?
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Friends, this last weekend I went to an amazing wedding in Texas with my daughter Rachel and the whole experience reset me in a major way. I’ve been walking around my home, happy, rested and full.
It was definitely a weekend FULL of tender self care. What amazes me is how different I am now that I am home. It’s like I’ve been totally reset. I’ve been able to enter into my life and into my family’s life in a much deeper way. Two weeks ago, on September 29, 2021, I had the absolute privilege to attend the funeral Mass of Servant of God, Fr. Emil Kapaun, a priest from our Wichita diocese.
(For those of you that do not know Fr. Kapaun, you need to. Fr. Kapaun’s Story from Kapaun Mt. Carmel’s Catholic High School Site. Fr. Kapaun’s Story from Catholic Diocese of Wichita website.) The other evening I was sitting by one of the loveliest women. I mean, lovely, lovely. We’ve known each other for a long time and we’ve established a good sense of trust between each other.
And because we are WOMEN, we did not just SIT by each other, we whispered back and forth about our lives, filling each other in on this and that. As we chatted, my friend confided to me that she feels like the past year and a half has been so different than normal. We both acknowledged the crazy changes that have developed in our society. And then she shared that she felt like she had a big bucket within herself and it was filled with fear. “No matter how many times I tip it over and get some of that fear out, it just fills right back up.”
I love love love mothers. I love how we love. I love watching a new mom with her new baby. It’s the richest kind of relationship, isn’t it? Being a mom opens up places within us that we didn’t even know we had. Deep Joy. Reverence. Fascination. Gratefulness.
And to be honest, I thought that is where I would live, in the Palace of Constant Wonder with my children. Truly. I love new beginnings. I love fresh starts. My two daughters, Bridget and Malaysia, age 18, are starting off to college and I am truly excited for them.
Bridget is heading off to Fort Hays University and Malaysia will be going to WSU Tech while living at home. This will be the first time my daughters will be separated from each other. And I’m delighted for both of them. My feelings are happy and positive for my girls. I am not mourning or sad. And, to be honest, I questioned that. Why am I, the mother, only excited for my daughters? Is this a genuine emotion or is there a trap door of sadness within me? Happy End of Summer, friends! My 12-year old has been telling me it’s NOT the beginning of the school year, it’s still summer. So happy end of summer!
Way in the beginning of the summer, I visited with a special young mother, Hannah Arnold. She shared with me all of the things about motherhood that I had somehow forgotten. The crazy kids doing all the things. The long nights and longer days. Several weeks ago, I invited a mom of six small children into my home. Why did I want her to come over? I wanted to see if an idea I had was realistic or too idealistic.
See, I had been thinking about our world. Our Church is in crisis. I know that we, Christian families, are called to be a domestic church. (Everything starts with the family, don’t you think?) The idea inspired me to focus in a different way in my own home, to think more intentionally, to truly see my home as a real, live, active church. But would that idea “work” in all homes? Would it be inspirational to a mom of many littles?
I am an idealist, a writer and a mother. That means I am not only working on ways to improve Home Doerneman, I always feel compelled to write about that process. I love thinking about the different ways to actively create a strong and beautiful family culture.
Now that my 8 children are older (and can all flush and brush by themselves), I have even more time to write but I don’t want to lose a sense of reality. That’s the danger, you know? I believe it is probably incredibly easy to lose sight of the juice-spilling, head banging stage. Knowing that, I invited Hannah Arnold, mom of six children (in eight years), to come into my home and chat with me for an hour or so. I wanted to get her pulse and see if the ideas that I had in my head would float in her water.
Friends. As a mom of eight children, I have had some long years of mothering. However, I am beyond happy because I am now hitting The Reward Stage. My two girls (number 5 & 6) just graduated from high school. They are maturing and becoming. It is glorious to witness.
Two of my sons were married this year. Another is engaged. In my last post, I highlighted a bit about my son Mitchell’s new wife, Lucy. I wanted you to know her and be blessed by her witness. Read that post: Love, Marriage, and a Great Toast to Mothers Everywhere. |
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I'm Lori Doerneman Wife. Mom. Catholic. Idealist with 8 kids, keeping it real. 
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July 2023
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