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THE PARENTING DARE BLOGI love, love, love mothers.
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THE PARENTING DARE BLOGI love, love, love mothers.
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Welcome to The Parenting Dare BLOG!! My name is Lori Doerneman. I live in a little town near Wichita, Kansas. I love to write and I love love love that you have joined me.
I thought it would be best if I first introduced you to my people. After all, these people make up most of my life and as such, they take center stage in most of my writing. First, there’s my husband, Russ. Oh my. This man. We just celebrated 30 years of marriage. THIRTY. ***Reminder! I have a podcast version of this blog! In this post's episode I added and expanded on each kid a little bit. Please consider subscribing: just search "The Parenting Dare" wherever you listen to podcasts (iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher)*** What do I love most about this husband of mine? I love how he loves, so quietly and so steadfastly. His brain is logical and mathematical. He is patient. He is strong. He helped our daughter Malaysia with math almost every night her entire freshman year. He shows me what love looks like. He makes me laugh. He says totally inappropriate things under his breath all of the time. This year we went on a healing retreat down in Florida and we opened up to each other in even more ways. As God gently exposed our weaknesses, I think I fell in love with Russ even more. Funny how that works. Next up, are the four “bigs:” Eric, Rachel, Mitchell and Matthew. These people are incredibly alike and oh, so different. Eric Scott, 25Eric has a logical, mathematical brain like his father but that’s where the similarities end. His temperament is full-out Sanguine, which means he lives in the present moment. He does not dwell in the past nor does he worry about the future. He is EXTREMELY optimistic and he has a “LET’S DO THIS!” attitude that he brings to everything he touches. He is smart and has a mechanical engineering degree. However, he is also full of an entrepreneurial spirit and he knew he’d die at a desk job. So he quit his job as a stress engineer last August and went into full-time ministry. Together, he and I, created “The Parenting Dare,” an online video course for proactive, fearless, Christian parents. He gives powerful talks to parents as well as to children of all ages. He especially loves the college crowd. He speaks on authentic love and how to live that. He dissects the counterfeit of love, which is lust and pornography. He is continually growing and transforming and it’s been gorgeous. I love this child. Second out of the chute... Rachel Nicole, 22Rachel is a powerful force. She went to Catholic school her entire life then got a full-ride scholarship to play basketball at a small Christian D-2 school, Southern Nazarene University. I called it a cult because I wasn’t sure what they’d teach my girl child. Well, I should not have worried. Rachel graduated from SNU with a teaching degree, but more than that, she now has a deep, alive thriving relationship with Jesus. I’ll speak more about how that happened as we move along. Oh, and she is beautiful. Rachel has a missionary heart. She knows who she is and why she was born. She wants others to know the same thing. She is currently a FOCUS missionary and will be stationed at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas.
What that means: in the fall, instead of entering a teaching job, she will go back into the college scene, not as a student but as a person willing to hang out with the college students and befriend them.
Her goal is to bring them into a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, not through words but through being present for them. As she gains their trust, she will eventually disciple several of them, pouring into them the way that Jesus poured into His people. The goal: to have those 3 or 4 turn around and build into 3 or 4 of their own. Rachel was born to do this. She has a spirit that is On Fire. When you are near her you want to sign up for everything she is doing. She is loyal. When she makes a friend, she keeps that friend. She tends to the relationship, going above and beyond what is expected. I love this child. My third and what I thought would possibly be me last child... Mitchell Paul, 21I cannot wait to share stories about this one, especially what has happened in his heart, mind and soul this year. God is beyond gracious. Mitchell is entering his fourth year at Conception Seminary. Standing at 6' 7”, he is the tallest seminarian in the diocese of Wichita. He is handsome and has a heart full of mischief. I kid you not. While we were in Colorado I turned around and he was using his Chacos to hit itty bitty fish like baseballs that the girls were throwing in the air. His laughter could be heard for miles. He is fun to be around. He also has this incredibly deep soul. He listens super well and asks great questions. When you talk with him you sort of want him to hear your confession. He’s that sort of a man, trustworthy and kind.
He has also lost about 30 pounds (which is part of his bigger story, which I will get to eventually) and he now kills it doing CrossFit.
He is thriving. I love this child. Matthew Edward, 18My Matthew. When I think of Matthew these words come to mind: strength. Drive. Dedication. He is BY FAR the child most like my husband, Russ. He is super intelligent, especially in mathematics. He is logical and precise. He just graduated from Bishop Carroll Catholic high school here in Wichita with over a 4.0 GPA. He received the prestigious Wallace Scholarship, which is for incoming engineering students at Wichita State University. Plus he decided he wanted to serve his country, so he entered the Air Force reserves. Do you see what I mean when I say driven? Matthew gets up early in the morning to work out. His stomach is like a washboard. He makes his older brothers look fat and slow. I cannot wait to see what this kid does in his life. Matthew is currently a counselor at Parish Totus Tuus camps here in Wichita. He loves interaction with the kids, which is fun to see. Matthew was very positive and generous with his time. He too is a loyal friend. I love this child. Next are the four "littles"… Malaysia Marie, 15Oh my stars, this girl is gorgeous. Malaysia entered our family at the age of four. At first I was a little confused by God’s direction, why would he put a shy, quiet African American girl into our loud crazy bohunky white family? Well, turns out we needed her. Malaysia absolutely fits into the Doerneman family. She has a lot of sass, and all of the kids play off of her. Malaysia loves to read. I mean, LOVES to read. She would easily read all day long every day, which is a mother’s dream child. The best part about Malaysia is her laugh. She cracks up whenever anyone even sort of falls. I know that sounds weird but it is hilarious to her her bust out laughing when she sees someone falling. The best is when someone sort of trips in a more serious setting. Watching M try to contain herself makes all of us giggle. Malaysia has taught me the most. She has taught me about black culture. She has taught me about black hair. She has taught me how to love and why to love. She has been an incredible teacher. I love this child. Bridget Therese, 15If you ever see Bridget, I guarantee that there will most likely be a three or four year old child hanging on her. No matter where she goes, children adore her. Why? Well, Bridget is pretty, fun, confident and extremely fantastic with children. This may come as a surprise, but I don’t even really like children. I hated babysitting growing up. She is by far the best babysitter I have ever witnessed. Ever. When Bridget isn’t babysitting all she does is talk about kids. She has baby fever and she’s only 15 years old. She knows her vocation is mother. And she cannot wait to fulfill it. I said, yo, girl, pump the brakes. Bridget is also an extremely talented artist. Ever since she was a little girl, she has drawn symmetrically and beautifully. Bridget is also very driven. The summer she spent almost every day working out, working on becoming more muscular and strong. That has been fun to watch. Perhaps the most surprising thing about my Bridget is her fierce loyalty to Malaysia. Those two girls are like peas in a pod. They get along really really well. Most people at their high school thought they were best friends. That’s how much time they spent together. My mama’s heart is full. I love this child. Thomas Joseph, 13Thomas surprises me because he is incredibly, uniquely HIMSELF. He loves to fish. LOVES LOVES LOVES to fish. He hates basketball because you draw a foul if you are too aggressive. He loves football and wrestling because he is encouraged to smash other boys. Yet this child is BY FAR my most touchy-feely kid. He gives hugs out like they are candy. Thomas is super smart but doesn’t really care about grades or school much quite yet. He’d rather be fishing. He has a fleet of friends and he loves spending time with them. He started a lawn mowing business this summer with some friends. They call it Cam-MOW-flage, “You grow it, we mow it!” He has also grown about a foot taller just this year. You should see our food bill. I love this child. David Anthony, 9David’s birth story is a good one and I shall share it with you sooner or later. I gave birth to him when I was 42 years old and I had six miscarriages before and after his birth. He is a miracle. David makes me chuckle because every single time he walks into the kitchen he goes around and shuts all of the cabinet drawers and doors, which I apparently never shut. I never noticed until he started shutting them for me. This kid also KEEPS UP WITH EVERYONE ELSE. It’s crazy. When we go to the YMCA, he is the one that is ahead of everyone. When we went to Colorado, he hiked the mountain with the big people. AND...he gets altitude sickness. This year he knew it was coming and when he was in my husband’s new car he found a cup and puked IN the cup, which forever propelled him to rock star favorite child status. I love this child. So that's our big, crazyCatholic family.A little bit about me…., I am a woman that loves to think deeply about eternal subjects. I read more books than is socially acceptable...my friends hate talking to me about books because I am always on the next one. I love thick dark coffee with heavy whipping cream. I no longer drink any alcohol, which is part of our addiction story...oh my...so, we’ll get to that. I have a lot of juicy stuff to share with you... I absolutely love tattoos, especially if they are faith-based. I love muscles. I love people that can make me laugh out loud. I love priests. I love this priest in particular, Fr. Michael Gaitley. I love how he writes and how he delves. I love love love him. I especially love marriage and I love my husband Russ most of all. I love the children that we now get to call ours. They are unique and crazy. They have made me laugh and they have made me cry. Mothering these people is fun and tiring and glorious and surprising. Most of all, they have helped me understand what love is all about. It’s not all Pinterest Perfect. It’s been more about digging and seeing and revealing and most of all, accepting. As we keep doing that, we all keep finding a bit more freedom. And in the end, that’s all I want for each of them: to walk in the love of Jesus with true freedom. Thank you for joining me. IN the next couple of posts, I will be sharing more about The Daughter Dare, a unique way to intentionally build into your daughter. See you then.
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I'm Lori Doerneman Wife. Mom. Catholic. Idealist with 8 kids, keeping it real. Archives
December 2024
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