Hi, my name is Lori Doerneman from Goddard, Kansas. My husband Russ and I have been married for 30 years and we have eight children to prove it.
A LOT HAS BEEN HAPPENING WITHIN OUR FAMILY UNIT and I cannot wait to tell you about it. SO MUCH has changed!
The last year and a half has been about healing. My pride wants you to think this healing has been about a child’s broken leg or other tangible, safe areas of the body.
***Hold up real quick. Would you like to listen to this post instead? Give it a whirl right below. If you like it, subscribe to our podcast so you can listen on the go! Just search "The Parenting Dare" wherever you listen to podcasts (iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher)***
But that would not be true. Our family of ten has been undergoing healing of the heart. Specifically, we’ve been experiencing healing from addictive behaviors.
I kind of sort of want to keep That Part of my life in the dark; I want you to only see the bright and beautiful.
But then I look over and see my Jesus and His Smile. I smile back and I easily proclaim, “It was Him. He healed us.”
Afterall, that’s why He came. He came to heal. He is still the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He came to heal the sick, the blind and the lame. He came to mend broken hearts and broken lives.
As I look back at the last year and a half, I feel such intense joy that I want to run and shout and laugh and cry all at the same time, which I sometimes do, when my intensely-aware-of-what-other-people-think 15-year old daughters aren’t around.
I just want to PROCLAIM and PRAISE and LAUGH.
So when my son Eric suggested that I stop writing at “Prayer and Duct Tape” and move my writing over to “The Parenting Dare” website, I said yes, yes, yes, yes.
This has been my header for three years:
This will be our new one:
As I move websites, it feels like I am moving homes. And just as with a physical move, I want to get rid of the extra stuff I’ve been lugging around.
As I peer into my old posts, I can easily see my fear. I have been scared of what others would think of me. So I chose writing about safe instead of writing about the real.
I’m chucking that box.
As I look through more posts, I can see that I didn’t really give my heart. Why not? Hmmm...fear again. That is going, too.
As I clean this house, I have been pondering the world of blogging. See, I started my first blog because I wanted to write about pornography and the effects on our society. But I knew I couldn’t just jump into that realm. Why not? Because I thought no one would read a blog about the sexual world and all the temptations we are facing.
So I wrote to gain the trust of my readers. Then I strategically started discussing pornography in our culture. Oh, so slowly.
I should not have been so concerned. My readers are mostly mothers. And mothers want to protect their young. There’s a source of evil out there? They want to talk about it. They WANT to figure out ways to guide their children.
Guess what else I’ve learned in the last year or so? I am typing slowly because this was THE MOST DIFFICULT thing for me to accept:
Our children choose pornography because it fills a need.
It’s a fix.
Wait. If my son Eric (you’ll hear his story as we go along) CHOSE porn then that would mean that I wasn’t being a good mom.
That was more than a little hard to accept. Afterall, I have some pride. I’ve done my work. I am a kick a** mom.
But after digging and delving with many people, both young and old, I actually agree.
What I have learned is actually beautiful. We are all broken. That’s just the nature of humanity. Our kids, even though they look and behave perfectly, have wounds and emotional baggage and brokenness caused by original sin, us parents, their friends and basically the world.
THAT IS NORMAL.
So instead of looking at the “fruit” of that tree, which is the impure behavior, we need to dig deep into the root system. That means that you and I, as parents, need to be willing to do the hard work of parenting better.
THAT is what excites me.
Guess what my kids want? They want one thing: acceptance.
Let that sit with you for a second. Think about your life. What would it have meant in your life if you would have totally seen, appreciated, loved, accepted?
That’s all you really needed. And that’s all our children really need.
It sounds achingly easy to do. But then our children show up with their bad breath, bad hair and bad attitudes.
That’s the moment, mothers. That is the moment. We can fix them or love them.
I don’t know about you, but I am tired of trying to control everyone. Jesus, heal me of my desire to control. Come in and give me Yourself.
I want to love like Jesus.
I want to love ferociously. I want to love unreasonably.
THAT is what I want “The Parenting Dare” blog and podcast thing to be about.
I want to be audacious love that doesn’t count the cost. THAT is how we will snuff out pornography and other addictive behaviors in our culture.
It’s not about taking away iPhones but about being healed and then loving in fearless, fabulous ways. (and putting filters on the phones!!)
In the end, it’s about walking in real freedom.
I thank my son Eric for all of the work he’s doing for me and this blog. I get to do the fun stuff and he does the behind the scenes details. IF you have not met him yet, you will. He’s one of the most alive people you’ll ever meet. When I am with him it feels like I imagine it would feel to go to one of those little oxygen bars I see in Las Vegas. Yep, being with Eric is like sucking straight oxygen. Just wait. You’ll see what I mean.
Eric is my encourager. If it were just up to me, I would never have even started blogging, let alone podcasting.
As you can see, we are chasing lots of new and exciting changes. We’d love your input as we go along!!!
Thank you for joining us on the journey.
P.S. If you have a daughter, keep your ears open for the next few episodes. We prep’d a free mini course for you to enjoy. It’s all about intentionally building into your daughter’s life. You will ABSOLUTELY love it.
P.P.S. The Daughter Dare is now LIVE! Here's a blog where I detail what it is :) And Here is access to the course, bypassing the blog.