Be Not Afraid. You Were Made for This.

The other evening I was sitting by one of the loveliest women. I mean, lovely, lovely. We’ve known each other for a long time and we’ve established a good sense of trust between each other. 

And because we are WOMEN, we did not just SIT by each other, we whispered back and forth about our lives, filling each other in on this and that. As we chatted, my friend confided to me that she feels like the past year and a half has been so different than normal. 

We both acknowledged the crazy changes that have developed in our society. And then she shared that she felt like she had a big bucket within herself and it was filled with fear.

“No matter how many times I tip it over and get some of that fear out, it just fills right back up.”

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I immediately understood what she was saying. We have been living in a crazy time. Nothing looks or feels like it did two years ago, does it? 

And there are so many narratives being spun, it’s difficult to figure out truth from fiction. 

We are being divided over almost everything. 

We each have an “inner bucket” of emotions. When you think about your inner bucket, what is inside? Do you feel fear? Anxiety? Anger? Resentment?

And if you’ve had those negative emotions, how have you handled them? 

That’s kind of a big question, I know.    

Let’s break this down for a second. The enemy is FEAR. 

I don’t want to treat it lightly or dismissively. I know it is a big thing. But something much bigger is also at work in all of our lives. Or maybe I should say Someone. God is bigger. He has zero rivals. 

Ponder this: “If God is for us, who can be against?” Romans 8:31. I mean, really. 

You are His beloved daughter. 

He’s got you. 

Steep in these verses:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43: 1b

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” Romans 8:15.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7.

Be with people that can encourage and support you. I know there are no accidents in the realm of God. I know that you were born for this. You were born FOR THIS TIME. You were given your people. You. You have gifts that God wants to use. 

And the first place of transformation is within your family. It’s about stepping into who you really are and living from that space.

It’s about living in peace. And trust. And thanksgiving. Doing what God has called YOU to do. 

Last month I did something a little crazy. I stepped out in FAITH and hosted a women's retreat in my home. It was gorgeous and I want to tell you all about it, yes, to invite you to my next retreat, yes, yes, yes. But that’s not the only reason I feel compelled to write about this. Many of you live far from me and spending a morning over at my home isn’t probably in your agenda. I know some of you reading this are men. (And I appreciate you!) Since you are a man, you won’t be attending one of my mommy retreats.  

Yet. God wants you to step out in faith. 

You have received much from God. I know you have. And here’s the freaky part. When you SHARE WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN, you actually RECEIVE it in a deeper way. 

Mind. Blowing. 

Okay. For me, Lori Doerneman. Mom of 8. I know that I am called to educate parents about technology and how to raise strong kids amid all of the crazy in our culture. That’s part of my path. 

But I know I’m also called to go even deeper with mothers, and share with them the inner transformation that I received.  

What do I mean by that? Well, in a nutshell, in the year 2018 I had a major conversion that had a radical impact on my life. 

• It changed how I see. 
• It changed how I feel. 
• It changed how I act. 
• It changed how and where I blog. (I now write on The Parenting Dare site.) 
• It even changed how I eat. (That was the biggest surprise!) 

And, well, I really cannot stop talking about the whole thing. It’s so cool. It’s a never ending gift: The more I share it with others, the more I receive it. 

Isn’t that interesting? Now, blogging and podcasting are really fun. Fabulous. I love those methods of communication. But then I chatted with a couple of friends and they both told me that I should consider giving retreats for mothers. 

I loved that idea. And I stepped out in faith. 

The first Mother Retreat was in September. It was beautiful.

I found that I couldn’t really speak after the retreat, simply because my heart was so full. It was one of the best experiences of my adult life. 

Why? Well, hmmm…I love having parties. I love people. I love love love mothers. I love making food and feeding people. So that was all there.  

But it was more than that. 

I think it had a lot to do with the women. They wanted to hang out with other like-minded women so the energy was extremely positive. 

Here are some of the comments that the women shared with me: 

• “I am so glad I attended this retreat. It was a refreshing, life giving time for me. I am leaving here invigorated.” 
• “I am more at peace and I feel empowered to be the best version of myself so I can be the best mom to my kids.” 
• “I feel renewed in my conviction about who I am and what I am capable of. Things seem less overwhelming and much more do-able.” 
• “I learned a lot at this retreat. Plus I loved talking with other mothers and I had the privilege of having a couple of older moms in my group. I loved hearing their perspective.” 
• “This fed my soul. Community is so important - we aren’t supposed to do this alone!”

It was truly beautiful and life giving. 

Because of the feedback and the prompting that I feel in my own soul, I’m going to host another retreat in October. (And probably again in early December.) 
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Update: June 2022: In addition to the mother retreat, I am also doing a retreat for married women (or engaged). HOWEVER, I am not doing them in my home but rather, I am traveling to the homes of others. It has been quite beautiful. If you are interested in hosting a retreat for your friends and family, contact me: lorianderic@theparentingdare.com. They are fun. 
In addition, for those of you mothers that do not live in the Wichita area, I created a free online retreat for you: MOTHER RETREAT.

So that is what I am called to do as part of my life as Mom of Many. I am to give retreats for moms, where we focus on transforming our families. What about you? 

People are living in fear and high anxiety. I know we must educate ourselves about all that is happening. But don’t neglect the spiritual component AND the role that you are to play. 

What we have is bigger. Much bigger. (See 1 John 4:4.) And we were born for this time. You have gifts. I have gifts. Let’s use them for good.