Thanksgiving Thoughts

I hope you are doing well! It's Thanksgiving week; enjoy your time with family! I am excited because all of my children will be able to come over and not only that, but they are bringing tons of food. TONS. Russ and I only have to do turkey, potatoes and stuffing. Speaking of turkey, Russ spatchcocked the turkey  the last couple of years, and let me tell you, we are never going back to dry, dismal turkey. I found the biggest turkey I could, just so I'd have enough for our people. (Plus I also love that the delicious technique has such a funny name: spatchcock. I imagine people all over the world telling their grandmothers that they spatchcocked their turkey, and I imagine the grandmothers sitting there quietly, wondering exactly what they'd be eating.)

I know that we are all going to be busy over the next several days, so I thought I'd sneak a quick post in before all of the baking begins. 

I've been thinking a lot about being an apprentice to Jesus, and instead of trying to do life on my own, I have been working on allowing his presence to be known in an authentic way as I allow him to guide me through daily life. When I have a decision to make, I stop and simply imagine him as me, and I do what I know he would do.

This has helped me in massive ways, and some of the ways have surprised me, which is why I am writing this particular post about family and Thanksgiving. 

Our family has gloriously expanded from ten to nineteen over the past couple of years. Three of my sons have added wives; one of my daughters added a husband. We have five grandchildren.

I am a strong woman; I have raised strong children. My sons and daughter have married strong people, people with their own opinions and thoughts and emotions. That is exactly perfect and what I wanted for them. The only ish: sometimes strong personalities clash, clank or rub each other the wrong way. I know this is normal. But I don't ever want little things to become big things. 

The other day, I had a minor annoyance with one of my people. Being an apprentice, I took it to the master, asking him how he would not only handle that particular situation, but how he would handle life if he were in my position as matriarch of a growing family.

Friends, I thought he would simply give me a good love vibe, helping me become more like him. Surprisingly, when I sat down and asked him to guide me, he took me by the hand and led me back to my teenage self. At first I was a bit bewildered. Why go back to the 1980's? Yet, there we were, back in my hometown. We sat with teenage Lori and watched as she made her way through high school. Yes, there were many positive, fantastic parts about those years, but that's not where this "Holy Ghost of Thanksgiving Past" focused. Instead, he gently, oh so gently, revealed the underside of my soul, where I chose self, time and time again. I had a desire to be good and holy, but there was a stronger need to belong. Simply put, I saw the bad choices I made.  

Quickly, he brought me to my college years, where I labored long and hard, not only working a million hours at Amigos, a fast-food restaurant in Lincoln, Nebraska, but also working to become a better human, a person with morals and standards. I saw my older yet littler sister build into me, patiently, lovingly, constantly. Her acceptance of me was a compass, showing me the true direction of my life. (Note: that's what unconditional love does. It sees the mud and the muck. And loves anyway. That's what allows us to change.) 

Then Jesus and I witnessed how younger Lori met Russ in her first semester at UNL; then how it felt to be taken to his home, to meet his family. 

People. I was not an easy add-in. I was a bit...unbridled. I loved to surprise people by saying what I thought were hilarious comments. Turns out that some of those comments were not actually funny. Yet the Doernemans opened the doors of their hearts to me, allowing me to come in. 

Then Jesus took me through my early years of being a mom. Oh.my. There is a learning curve to mothering, and even though some things came easy to me, thanks to my own wonderful mama, Bonnie Kreshel, other aspects of mothering were painstakingly difficult. Getting up in the middle of the night was hard. Being "on" 24/7 was hard. Working through marital issues was hard. MANY people helped me through those years. 

Going down memory lane in this Charles Dickens sort of way was just the gift I needed, a way to see life as it really was. I was formed by those around me, and I was given more than a little grace by those people. 

Thank you does not seem adequate enough. 

And now, I could feel Jesus urging me to understand, it's my turn to love, giving grace to those in my own sphere, not only overlooking small hurts and annoyances, but not even allowing them entrance, seeing only the good, the beautiful—dwelling on the positives only. 

Whew! What a gift given. I did NOT expect that. 

After I wrote the first draft for this post I opened up my email and read through my daily reflection on mercy, which made me chuckle. Jesus did not give me the love vibe when I asked him to help me, but he did give me a much better gift: a true knowledge of self. ​ 

I am, on my own, what I have gone through. I am my choices. I am my sin. I am my mistakes. But it is by his grace that I am a participant of eternal life and all of the gifts he has for me. What a glorious life we get to live. Jesus, I trust in YOU! Help me trust in You more and more. 

Now, I don't want to bring this up, but the truth of the matter is that the holidays can be treacherous, especially for those that have been deeply hurt by the people that should have loved them best. I know that. And if there has been deep hurt, sometimes avoidance is not only unescapable, it is the best policy. We do have to be wise with our hearts. May God grant you a discerning heart, guiding and guarding where necessary. And may you NOT repeat the mistakes in your past, but create a strong family unit full of love, joy and acceptance. 

​With that in mind, I ask for the grace to love every single person that is brought into my family as if they were my own, covering them with grace and goodness, lavishing them with love and laughter, shielding them and protecting them when they need it. May I never be a stumbling block as they grow, make mistakes, work out their own issues and challenges and become their most authentic self in the process.

I love this life. I am glad you are in it. May you and yours have a fantastic Thanksgiving.